DJ Jack Rude/Jonah

Green Bay native born near the actual bay. Swimming was my first time inside of a space with waves.  My dad listened to records while he vacuumed the house in his robe. At age 10, I started a fictitious radio station KAT. With some gentle prodding, my cat provided the top-of-the-hour meow. Unfortunately, the signal didn't reach beyond my tape recorder. As a lonely art major, I agreed to work overnight (without my cat) at KSUW. Dead air transmitted while I kissed a girl on a couch in the lounge. She made off with 2 CDs from the music library. Van Halen’s greatest hits and Digable Planets. Another girl shouted drunkenly into the microphone, “Cloudy with a chance of blueberries motherfuckers!” She shook a burrito she nicked from the fridge for emphasis. First on air vomit. I did 12 PSAs for STDs as penance. Everyone called me DJ Crabs.  My voice is falling out of a car at a red light somewhere.

DJ Salty Gun, Sarah

My dream was to work at a station with all women DJs until it came true. I sang “Louie Louie” in front of my whole church when I was seven. Music is not my first, second, or even third love. Earlier today I went shopping and came back home with lemons and mayonnaise made with extra virgin olive oil for my throat. Mariah Carey on sale is sad. This playlist says I have recently been in a mood. I deny ever bringing my horse into the studio while the red light was on. I’ll admit to the Cadillac. After the Telecommunications Act passed, we DJed naked. It was the summer of 2007 and my promotional spot said clap.

(Carrie Lorig lives and teaches English in Seoul, South Korea. That will all change soon.)